bennybox

Yesterday was fun. It went down like this:

Swiss Chalet with jaded.hiyo.org. Great double leg dinner with two tasty servings of chalet sauce (the stuff flows through my veins). And I tells ya, for a family restaurant, they make the tall and skinny waitress/servers/whatever wear some pretty tight fitting pants. Hey, whatever brings in the customers I suppose.

Period of indecision. Oh, not the first I’ve lived though, that’s for sure. Sitting around trying to decide what to do next. Unfortunately, everyone we know is just too damn far away. If only my ‘emergency paradise’ existed, we would have known what we wanted to do right away. Straining off topic: They should make some of the more important things in life 24hrs emergency service. Last night I totally could have used an all night emergency auto glass tinter. Or emergency 24 hour go-karting. You just know that it’s a viable business model that’s dying to be successful. I believe I went off on a little rant on how we needed more cool things open late at night. We spent at least half an hour flipping through the Yellow Pages: “Damn! If there was such a thing as late night mammary prostheses clinic, we would so go. Score us some fresh out of post-op big tittied hunnies.” There also don’t appear to be any all night emergency hair removal clinics. Sometimes I just don’t know why people aren’t jumping on these great business ideas.

Fast forward to us deciding to see a movie. The problem with advertising these days, is it gets you to see the worst movies possible. Sometimes the advertisements makes the movie looks so bad that I want to go see it just to see how bad it is (Kung Pow: Enter the Fist). But every once in a while, those marketing suits make a movie look so cool, I actually think it’s going to be good.

My case: Ballistic - Ecks Vs. Sever. Damn, I thought. What a great movie title. This is going to be the coolest movie I’ve seen in a while! Heck, the opening credits even tell me that the movie stars (besides ultra way suave antonio, and dog face but at least she’s asian liu) the booty from John Woo’s Once a Thief (the best reason to watch that show). I immediately get excited. The movie opens with fighting and a million explosions. I’m all, “yo, this is the best movie ever”. But then, my enjoyment ends there. I’ll give away the story here. A million explosions, lots of cool guns (and extras who don’t even know how to hold an m4a1 although liu was pretty cool with her sig and stick things), then ecks fights sever for 3 minutes, a million explosions, a million explosions, a car blows up, a million explosions, some people talk about things that don’t make sense, a million explosions, the most unrealistic climatic explosion set/government tactical force ever (mixed in with about 3 million explosions) (every single time i tried to type “explosion” i typed it wrong the exact same way. dammit!), and then some mini robot stabs the bad guy in the heart. Whew.

I was like yelling at the movie screen because there was never a scene that made sense and boy, it was driving me crazy. I shouldn’t have expected much after finding out the script was written by the same guy as the guy who wrote Spawn. Dammit! Oh well, I still give the first forty minutes of the movie two Victory signs up, while the last thirty minutes (dammit! 70 minute movie?) a big question mark over my head with a big sweat bead on my head.

Then what. After the movie, I saw how much more money a crappy university like UTM has over my dumb butt school, and added about 4 exclamation marks to “There’s nothing to do in Mississauga!!”.

Okay! Next post: Toe and raw chikin!