bennybox

on air canada flight ac3030 i watched three inflight movies. one was released just five months ago, Heartbreakers, starring the stacked though quite narstay jennifer love hewitt and the quite narstay Sigourney Weaver

Comedy and Romance HEARTBREAKERS follows Max (Sigourney Weaver) and Page (Jennifer Love Hewitt), a mother and daughter who are expert grifters, through one after another of their perfectly executed scams. Max gets wealthy men to fall in love with her and marry her, then Page seduces them, setting up grounds for Max to divorce them and cash out. HEARTBREAKERS is a fun, fast-moving comedy directed by David Mirkin.

anyways, the film had to be edited for content and length and whatnot so that it could be shown on the airplane screens. aside from the typical censoring of “offensive language” done by voice actors that sounded like the speaking actor, these are the other two things i noticed:
In a few scenes, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s tank tops were so low cut giving her so much cleavage of her jinormous rack, another shirt, that obviously wasn’t low cut at all, was edited in digitally with computers.
A Michaelangelo’s David-esque statue needed a computer generated leaf made of stone to conceal his rock hard wang. The penis was knocked off the statue during a scene where the statue was being moved and the actors held the penis in clear view of the cameras and was not edited out. At that point I wanted to jump out of my seat and scream, “Hey Goober! Where’s the continuity in this scene!?!?!?”

You know you’ve got too much breasts for hollywood when your breasts need to be edited out of a scene in a movie that you have been cast in just for your secks appeal. Hey Jennifer, don’t worry, the kids will still buy your porn movies. The films would probably get better critic reviews because they wouldn’t have to look at your narstay face for as much of it.

ohmuhgawsh. i’ve been dreaming of a white christmas. you know you haven’t lived until you’ve seen all the entire back to the future trilogy in one sitting. it’s that kind of situation that allows oneself to vegetate on a couch and eat junk until you’ve ammassed enough insulation for the upcoming cold canadian winter.

the internet is where dreams really do come true. a dot-com webdeveloper gets laid off, and as a joke his online friends, who he has never met, set up an internet-telethon type dealie which in less than two weeks rakes in a thousand american dollars for the guy. to paraphrase the organizer of “ernie-aid”, “it’s not like he’s going to be starving soon, he was a dot-com webdeveloper”. still! this guy has a popular website which i’ve been reading since march, and not only does he get a nice severance package from his old job, his online web-game, similar to the mole on tv, is featured in tvguide magazine which obvisously leads to an enormous flood in hits. a thousand bucks for nothing from a bunch of strangers who read some guy’s site. pretty sweet if you ask me. and to add to that, it’s like eight million dollars canadian… if my math is right. it’s pretty sweet i must say.

doggoneit. i read that some kid got his nuts cut off my a lawnmower. feel free to try to picture how came about. he probably had several previous encounters with his lawnmower without incident. but you know, too much of a good thing…

that brings to mind some nice images of china. when dogs are ready to be roasted, they are hung in the restaurant windows… skinned… and with their guts in a nice pile right in front of their disemboweled bellies.

a couple years ago there was a crackdown. here, xiao long baos (meat buns) are two for a yuan (local currency). but booya, all of a sudden, there’s this one place that sells tasty buns for only three for a fricking yuan. these buns did quite well, selling a couple thousand or so. i don’t know how it came about, but there was some investigation on why these buns were so cheap. it turns out that there was enough of a woman left in the bun factory that they were able to determine that the two women were murdered and in turn placed on the production line to create some thousand odd meat buns. how’s that for good eats?

when dogs and pigs are big enough and old enough to be stirfried, first they gotta kill it. i know i always imagined that they would just hold the mutt down and chop off his head or slice its neck or something. apparently not. they take the bugger out back, hang it but its neck just high enough so that it can’t get away, but not high enough so that it chokes to death. then the workers procede to beat the animal for forty-eight hours. they don’t give the animal any water or food for these two days while it’s beaten. and they don’t dare bleed the animal, because the blood makes the meat look darker and tastier. the chefs here certainly know what it takes to get yummy meat. chinese food is delicious!

the chinese will cook anything that flies except airplanes and anything with four legs except tables.
i can’t really argue with that. a witty chinese person in his attempt to stick up for his culture said, “NO! What about chairs?” I love how the chinese are mothereffing morons.

LIMA, Peru (Reuters) - A Peruvian man who last year sliced off his penis to draw attention to his jobless plight on Monday chopped off one of his testicles in front of the parliament building, police and hospital officials said.
He’s already chopped off his penis earlier months ago and had it reattached protesting the same thing. Geez man. I’d like to see Green Peace do something like that. I’m sure I’d stop killing whales if some guy threatened to chop off his nuts infront of me. Despite his mutilation, Viera said Veliz could still enjoy ”a normal sex life.”

ROME (Reuters) - Nearly four in 10 Italian teenage males had their first sexual experience with a prostitute, according to a survey reported in Rome’s la Repubblica newspaper on Saturday.
not much to say here. but damn, it must be cheap to get a prostitute in italy then. i know i can’t afford no “escort” in canada. china is a different story. it’s 10 USD for three hours with a cuban hoe. i don’t really know the “going rate” in other countries. isn’t that a good idea for a new magazine? International Prostitute Price Guide! with highlighted entries to show rates which have gone up or down and in which countries is sex in high demand, while others are stuggling to find customers. not only that, but the value of the encounter: time, frequency, quality, smell, attractiveness, and techniques available for use. i think i’ve just found my next ongoing webproject. you’ve heard it here first i hope. i’ll do a search later to see if i’m the first one to attempt such a directory. i wonder how much a chick paid for that robot dude in AI?

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - A senior Canadian Navy officer whose guilty conscience made him report his brief use of a government computer to view Internet sex sites was reinstated to his post on Monday.
do you think anything is a better example to how polite us idiot canadians are? the guy was so guilty that he has to get himself suspended for 3 months and charged 200 canadian dollars just for looking at porn. imagine if everyone who looked at porn in canada fessed up and then was appropriately punished for it: like commerical office workers, my teachers at school (dj rite), law firm staff… like those creepy guys on ally mcbeal who i realize aren’t canadian but i’m tired.

see ya later.

I went shoppang:
DVDs: The Legend of Zu, Fighting for Love, Master Q 2001, Pearl Harbour, Kiss of the Dragon, China Strike Force, Shrek, Moulin Rouge, Monkey Bone, MI:2, Gladiator, American Pie 2, Notting Hill, Run Lola Run, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Traffic, Coyote Ugly, and Fight Club.

I got a couple of Dreamcast games, and some compy proggies to boot.

Being poor in China stinks. I think i’m going to open up a restaurant or something and make some money.

So there’s this old lady that used to hang out in this little cafe/restaurant deal near the foreigner town (the part of Beijing that all the foreigners live in). She had like a garbage bag full of DVDs which she sold at prices lower than anyone else in town (eight yuan), and you didn’t even have to bargain to get that price (other places charge you ten!). She always had the newest movies and also had great classics (spartacus, sound of music, james bond, the seduction of ava and the like). So people would go to this cafe to specifically look through literally hundreds of movie titles while they ate their dinner and then they would leave the shop full and with a handful of DVDs.
Soon, she made so much money selling these illegal DVDs that she had enough money to open up her own shop. Now she owns this cafe which sells 10 yuan sodas (1.8 yuan in the grocery shop) and 800 yuan bottles of wine and while sipping, customers can flip through DVDs.
It’s the Chinese version of the American Dream. I’d like to see F. Scott Fitzgerald write a better story than that! No wait… dammit.

I hate it when I read blogs and I find stuff like this: Cut off my Feet. The world is a cruel cruel place.

Kobe in Beijing

as odd as it sounds, i can’t find prices to louis vuitton purses and wallets online. oh well. whatevah. i went shoppang today.

…ping…pang…pong…patapoon…poot…!

i miss real tv.

‘Ladyboy’ Breasts Go Missing
Kitten Survives 20-Minute Spin in Washing Machine
Muslim authorities in Singapore have turned their backs on a precedent set in Dubai by barring men from using mobile phone text messages to divorce their wives.
A container packed with more than half a million ping pong balls burst into flames in Hong Kong, apparently because of the sweltering heat.

WICHITA, Kan. (Reuters) - Townspeople and weather experts were scratching their heads in puzzlement after large quantities of corn husks fell from the skies on Wichita, Kansas, over the weekend.

According to news reports, thousands of foot-long (30-cm-long) and larger leaves from corn stalks fell like rain across the eastern edge of this south-central Kansas city on Saturday and Sunday.

“It was a pretty large area where people reported it,” said Weather Data Inc. meteorologist Chad Pettera. “I think it is very odd.” story

i love how all americans are dumb hicks.
Did you know there was a record for the most cottage cheese eaten out of the mouth of duck in 30 seconds? Well there is! Watch Guinnes World Records tonight on Fox!

That 70’s show’s only Emmy nod is for ‘Outstanding Hairstyling for a Series’.

sigh. i was here just six hours ago. nothing could have happened here in such little time. even so i’m here.
for my real posting times, add twelve (12) to the number shown.

i just had a basic premise for a new layout. it isn’t much so far, but it involves making you press F11 in IE each time you visit. that excites me!

i don’t really get it, but in china, they block out numerous sites to protect the people in china from politically or culturally damaging works. included in this list of sites is everything on geocities. i can’t see sanman’s page in which i taught her how to create. i wanted to see her artist’s vision but it i’m going to have to wait another 19 days.

geez louise, you try to be nice and buy some pirated playstation two dvds for your friend back home, and what do they do? they make the dvds almost four times more expensive than movie dvds which no doubt cost the same to produce. oh well, they hardly have any good game which are also in english so it’s not going to kill my wallet.

i can’t find PSO for my DC in english here. i can however get the 32 bit version of chrono trigger and final fantasy four (or 5). that i’ll be excited to play.

i wish there was more stuff to do around these parts. i spend too much time chillaxin within a small radius to my room. but i found some ballers and i want to try to hook up with them and get our ballin awn. a couple of us want to get away for this weekend, but i’m low in fundage and the public response hasn’t been very positive. i hope it goes through though, i think i need the new scenery.

in international news: mr. brosnan married a super model; there was some nice meteor viewings in NE US and i missed it; and:

LAGOS (Reuters) - A single snake has been blamed for the deaths of at least seven women in a village near the northern Nigerian city of Kano, prompting residents to ask snake-charmers for help in a climate of superstition and fear. story

my blogger is being difficult now.

TORONTO (Reuters) - The owner of a small Toronto coffee shop had grounds for dismay when he received a bill for C$2.4 billion ($1.6 billion) from Canada’s postal service. ooh. local news. that’s nice.

BEIJING (Reuters) - China, bidding to qualify for the World Cup finals for the first time, are planning to fill the stands with national team look-alikes for their next qualifier against Uzbekistan in Shenyang on September 15.and what kind of blogger would i be without beijing news?

some more short lines: scientists say sex toys pose no health risk, the senagalese prime minister bares all, antarctica is getting its first two condom machines, and japanese people live the longest.

my digipal is doing quite well. so far i can digivolve into each of the digiarmorevolutions, and the champion evolutions. they’re no level before rookie.

i’m a blogging maniac but there’s nothing to talk aboot. if i was in the tee dot, tomorrow i’d be chillin, monday night raw watchin. me and dan-e-o at the skydome…

*** addition ***
i have nothing to do, so i’m reading blogs, and i find a blogger that just two days ago got accepted to UBC. double you tee eff! i’m sure if i send them my transcript i would have gotten accepted, but it’s some sort of conspriacy thing. sure i applied to the two most difficult programs there (i’m pretty sure) but their application process ‘doesn’t end until august’ pieces of git. i had to tell my effin ontario unis by june 13th or something whether or not i was attending their school in the fall semester. i sent all sorts of mails to the addmissions staff at ubc and was like, yo motha effah, i’ll blast yo motha effin effin effer from hea to compton, n’yah mean? i also inquired as to how i could even consider waiting for acceptance to ubc if in doing so i’d lose my spots at other unis. they sent me nothing in return. jeez.

i really hate that people use different resolutions and different size fonts to view webpages. i’ve been trying to figure out a way to have a nice eight by six hundred res layout, but everyone has a different number of menubars taking away from the height of the screen, an stuff like icq, taking away from the width of the screen, and i just can’t take it. these chinks here need to read english on the IE largest font and it basically screws up any layout. i’ve been checking blogs on different comps with different settings each time i spend a while in a cafe and some are ok, some are gross, some which are nice are gross at home, and so on and so on. invalid at validatethis.com (too lazy for link) has a wicked concept layout which looked rather sucky on eight by six.

there’s been a lot of anger on blogs recently, although that’s how it is nowadays. something crazy happened to moronic.org. i don’t get it. you won’t understand if you’ve never read it.

see ya.